My 1st anniversary in Peshawar

It was 30^th December 2011, Friday morning. The minute I woke up, I knew it was the last time I’ll see the sunrise on my beloved homeland. I woke up, took my shower, put on my clothes. I was wearing jeans and t-shirt, sport shoes and a green sweater. All my luggages were already packed. I could still remember how overwhelmed I was, full of enthusiasm, full of hope. After years of working really hard to get my Master’s Degree in USM, months of preparation for the scholarship and university registration, the day finally came. It was my dream, I finally was leaving for the University of Peshawar, Pakistan. It is the best place to study archaeology, with the best experts in Epigraphy, Palaeography and Sanskrit language. The province itself is a goldmine for archaeologist. I felt as if I have accomplished my mission in life.

At around 11.00 am, my parents loaded the luggages into the car. Before I stepped into the car, I took one final gaze to my home.. and then we left. If I knew how much I will miss my home, I would have stayed longer. So we made our way to the airport. The journey was smooth. Throughout the journey, I was lost in thought, thinking about what to expect when I arrive in Peshawar. Once we arrived in the airport, my best friend Aiza with her two kids were already there. I went to check in, got my boarding pass, and stayed in coffee bean and McD with Aiza and my family. I was having a mixed feelings. Excited, happy, and worried.  However, I didn’t have the slight feeling of sadness at all. I did not realize what I would be facing after leaving Malaysia. I thought that once I left, all my problems are over. I thought that I will have a better life in Pakistan. All the time, I was talking to Aiza and my family about the trip. I felt as if I was the luckiest guy on earth to be awarded this prestigious ASTS scholarship. After chatting for 2 hours, the time had came. I hugged my parents, gave Aiza and her kids a handshake, and bid my final farewell. At that moment, the overwhelming excitement made me failed to realize that I will not be seeing them for a long time.

I went through the passport control, and waited for the flight to Kuala Lumpur. After waiting for more than one hour, I finally boarded the flight, and arrived in KL 40 minutes later. Once I arrived in KLIA, I went to a restaurant, and ate Malaysian food for the last time. I had some boiled rice, masak lemak chili api, nasi lemak and roti canai. The food was great. While waiting for my flight to Dubai, I was texting and calling my friends to say Goodbye. All of them congratulated me for my “success”. I also did some shopping, bought some t-shirts and perfumes. After few hours, I checked in for my flight to Dubai. So, that was the last time I step foot on that blessed land I call MALAYSIA. I boarded into the plane, and after 7 hours of flight,  I finally arrived in Dubai. In the Dubai Airport, I waited there for 3 hours. As I arrived, excitement turned to worry. I didn’t know what to expect there. Is Pakistan like India? How cold is it? How are the people? How is the food? Strangely enough, those questions did not come to my mind before I left Malaysia.

After 3 hours of waiting, I finally boarded the plane to Peshawar. I saw people wearing the strange cloths that I have never seen before. I felt intimidated by them. But then, I manage to control my feelings. Although I was very tired, I could not sleep during the flight. I was worried. Finally, I arrived in Peshawar. I could not explain my feelings here. It was very complicated. I was happy, afraid, worried, sad, excited and enthusiastic. Once I step out off the plane, it was around 7 in the morning, and it was really cold. On the way from the plane to the airport, on left and right, I saw uniformed people, holding heavy arms, and covering their faces. I felt extremely uneasy.

Once I entered the airport, it was a very long queue. After waiting for almost an hour, the very nice immigration officer stamped my passport. I collected my luggage, and while I had it scanned, I saw Zafar Hayat Khan, the lecturer who was supposed to pick me up. I was very happy to see him. So, i went out, greeted him, shaked and kissed his hand. He brought my luggage outside the airport, and I was a bit surprised to see the conditions outside there. He loaded my luggages into the car, and we went off to the campus. Throughout the journey, I was amazed by the new environment. I saw horses and donkeys on the road. I was very happy with the cold weather, and took off my sweater. And then, when I arrived in the campus, looking at the guest house, I was not very happy. The room looked old, and there was no electricity. I put down my bag, and went to the bathroom. The water was very cold, and I didn’t even know how to use the heater. I refreshed myself, and soon Zafar Hayat returned to my room and we went for breakfast. The food was weird. The cafeteria looked very old, with strange chairs and tables. I had roti fried in oil eaten with egg. I had never seen that before. And then Zafar brought me to the department. I saw Prof. Nasim for the first time. I greeted him, bow down and kissed his hand. After that day, my life in Peshawar started.

It has been exactly one year already. I have gone through all the hardships. The most difficult things that I went through here was issues on my study visa, problems to adapt with the local culture here, the food, the administrative problems, security problems as well as missing my family. Before I came to Peshawar, I was naïve, soft spoken, almost innocent, too much dependant on other people, extravagant, ignorant, and also a coward. Being here is not easy. I am the only Malaysian living in this province. But all the hardships changed me.

I am a different person now. In this one year, I learned the true meaning of friendship, sacrifice and honour. I really learn what is hardship, and how to live with dignity. I learned how to defend myself and my honour, even through violence. I learn how to manage my anger and how to be patient. I also learn the value of the things I took for granted back in Malaysia. Yes, I am a different person now. I am having a short temper, a strong heart and mind, I am resilient and nothing can break me now. Soon, I will be back to Malaysia, but the way I see things will be different. I will not perceive reality as I used to anymore. Even my definition of right and wrong is different now.

However, I am a still a Malaysian.  My Malay soul yearns to be in the presence of my people. I crave to breath in the sweet sea breeze of the beaches of Penang. I want prostrate myself and kiss the sacred ground of my motherland. I still dream of the lush green jungles and mountains, the aroma of fried salted fish in the Malay Kampungs , the sound of pounding stones for Sambal Belacan,  the laughs and chatters of Makciks in my departments. I will trade everything to get all that again. But, I am here for a purpose.  I am here to seek knowledge, so that I can serve my country in the future. All these sacrifices are not for nothing, one day my country will benefit from this. My loyalty and oath that I will serve my motherland one day remains in my heart. The hope is not lost. The hope that one day I will be back, keeps me going.